Bush Shoe Incident

Who throws a shoe? Honestly?

Bad Day Addendum

Before reading furthure please be sure to read the post "A Really Really Really Bad Day or One Good Thing is...." first, as this is an addendum to that.  

This afternoon things were going better.  I started to get hungry and we didn't have anything to eat so I went to Quiznos and got a sandwich with soup to go.  As I pulled out of the parking lot it sounded like my back passenger tire was flat.  So I pulled over as soon as I could and parked in front of this nail salon.  Sure enough it was completely blown out.  No problem though I have a spare and everything I need to change it.  I tried calling Jenny and noticed that my cell phone was was almost out of batteries, strange I just charged it.  She didn't answer.  Oh well I figured I would have it changed in 10 minutes and be home in 15 anyway.  

I took everything I needed out of the trunk, yes it was all there.  I opened the side door so I could listen to NPR news while I took care of business.  After placing the jack I removed all of the lug nuts, then I jacked up the car.   A news story was on about ball jointed dolls.  Aparrently they are all the craze now in Japan and gaining interest in the US.  So I gave the wheel a good yank to pull it off and it didn't budge, no matter what I tried I could not get the wheel to move at all.  I wiggled it, I kicked it, I spun it, I cursed at it.  Nothing worked.  I tried calling Jenny again, still no answer.  I double checked the wheel to make sure I wasn't missing anything, no everything looked right, it should slip right off.  These women spend thousands of dollars on these silly dolls that I guess look like real people, sounds like the setup for a B horror movie to me.

Oh I forgot to mention that this entire time I am working on this, two women where sitting 10 feet away from me in front of the nail salon talking about me in Vietnamese and laughing.  I am sure it was a great time for them.

I still hadn't eaten my food, so I sat on the parking lot curb and ate my sandwich with my fingers black with grease and dirt.  With what I am sure is the last bit of juice in my phone battery I eek one more call to Jenny, still nothing.  So I called my Dad and it went something like this:

Dad: Hello.

Me: Dad, real fast I am almost out of phone batteries.  I have a flat tire and I am parked next to Hollywood Video, try to get a hold of Jenny and let her know.  I haven't been able to get a hold of her.  I am trying to change the tire but I can't get it off.  I have taken off all the lug nuts and it won't move, I think it is rusted on.  Any ideas?

Dad: Well you haven't jacked the car up yet have you?  You have to do that before it will come off.

Me: Yes Dad (In my mind that was a given, but apparently he has little faith in my automotive knowledge), I of course I jacked the car up...

We then discussed how I should walk to a nearby automotive place and see if they can help.  Which is what I did.  A nice man at the Jiffy-Lube gave me a can of "ZAP", basically WD-40, with the nozzle broken off so I had to push the spray stem up against what I wanted to spray.  At this point it has been at least an hour since I left the house to get a quick sandwich and come straight home.  On my way back to the car Jenny called, I told her what was going on.  She felt adequatly sorry for not having heard my prior calls.  I asked her to bring my hammer and a good can of WD-40.  She said she was on her way.

Back at the car, one of the nail salonists (posibbly a made up word) started asking why I wasn't able to get it changed yet and I explained about it being rusted on, but not to worry because my wife was bringing me a hammer.  She went in and brought out a big heavy hammer, perfect for what I needed.  Did you know that a really nice pair of eyes for one of those dolls could set you back several hundred dollars.

I sprayed down the lug nuts as best I could with the broken spray can and started hamering away.  It still took a surprising amount of whacking, but it eventually came out and I was putting the spare on when Jenny arrived.  I finished everything up, we returned the can of "Zap" to the friendly people at Jiffy-Lube and went home.  I stopped at QT to get a Coke on the way back.  Jenny had asked me to get a pack of stamps while I was there.  They were out, but gave me my drink for free.... maybe the day was turning around.

Some people go as far to treat the dolls like their children.  One woman interviewed explained how she had a 17 year old girl with dark hair and an 8 year old boy with blonde hair...  What a stupid news story, I don't think I really like ball jointed dolls.

Cow Town Field Trip

A Flying Cow
...and you hate it when a bird poops on your windshield!

Chucky Jesus?

This morning Jacob has been asking me to give him words to spell on paper. So we went through things like "run", "jump", "sun", etc... Then he rolled out some play dough and wanted to spell words with it. So I asked him if he could spell "Jesus". He asked if it had a "Z" in it and I explained to him how the letter "s" makes the "z" sound sometimes. As we were sounding out the word "Jesus" several times, Ethan said "Chucky Jesus". I looked at him and he said "I want to go to Chucky Jesus". At this point I realized that in 4 year old language "cheeses" and "Jesus" are pronounced virtually the same. So I asked him if he realized that it is "cheeses" not "Jesus", like what we eat on Pizza. He looked up at me and smiled with a sheepish smile that told me that all this time he thought his favorite place in the world to eat was "Chucky Jesus".

The Mirth Mobile

Only 10 hours left to to own an excellent piece of Wayne's World memorabilia.

Wayne's World AMC Pacer Up For Sale on Ebay

"You are bidding on a 1976 Amc Pacer, this car is the coolest of the un-cool and the most famous pacer ever. This is a rare chance to own a real Paramount pictures built Wayne's World Pacer. This car was built by Paramount as a prop for the Paramount Kings Island ride, Stan Milenkos."


"Party on, Wayne", "Party on, Garth!"

Samuel Falling Asleep.

Samuel after a long hard day. He couldn't even stay awake to finish his pizza crust.

Chivalry, Anyone?

I have always believed in being polite and even chivalrous when it comes to the fairer sex but there is one thing that has always been kind of a gray area.  Of course when you are with a lady you open the door for her, that much is simple, and if a woman is right behind you, going into our out of a building you hold the door for them also... but how far does that courtesy extend?  If they are five feet behind you, yes get the door.  If they are ten feet behind you, yes get the door.  But what about 15 or 20 feet?  This happens all the time at my work and I still don't know what to do.  If I just open the door and walk through letting it close behind me I feel like a jerk, but if I stand there and hold it open, what always happens is the woman then feels rushed and has to hurry to get through the door so that they don't inconvenience you too much... and I end up feeling like a jerk.   It seems like a no win situation.

This is just one of the many moral dilemmas that face men on a daily basis.  Another would be should we put the toilet seat back down in a public bathroom?  My feeling is, if it is a male only bathroom leave the seat up but if it is for men or women put it down.
 

IM Gaffe

Jenny said I had to post this within two days or she was going to. (Are there any other couples out there that argue over who is going to get to post something on their blog?)

So my co-worker/cubicle neighbor/friend at work told me this morning that someone had offered him a job interview down in Houston. He loves his job but kind of feels like he needs to get out of this town. So, later that morning, I heard him talking on the phone and actually setting up the hotel and car rental for this job interview - yes, while at his current job. I teased him over IM (Instant Messenger for the less computer savvy) about how tacky and inappropriate it was. That afternoon, he came over to my cubicle with his eyes wide open whispering about how he was trying to ask me over IM if he should tell our boss, or if I thought she would just fire him... I think you see where this story is going now... Haha. Of course he had accidentally typed it into her IM window!! Now he didn't know what to do. Quickly, we figured out that he should say, like he was finishing the sentence, "...about how I bawled out a customer and about that big wart on her face." Thus making it look like it was a joke done on purpose. Unfortunately, it took too long for him to come over and talk to me, so in the meantime she said, "I am assuming that wasn't meant for me." Oh man, even now that makes me laugh. I think he did what he could to cover it up, but I am pretty sure she saw right through it.

Another quick story about this same character. In a noble effort to save money on eating out, he decided to turn his cubicle into a kitchen. He now has a fairly large-sized mini-fridge in his cube, along with a toaster with one of those little egg cookers on it, some kind of newfangled meat pocket toasting device that looks like a cross between a toaster and a crock-pot, an actual crock-pot and some kind of thing that looks like an oven-toaster but is actually a microwave I guess. Today for lunch, he had Hamburger Helper cooked in his crock-pot. And yes, each of these devices is against company policy.

Post Christmas Videos

He really wants to get the camera. I'm sure to put it in his mouth!

Extreme Close-up, Ethan Style

Its all about the mustache...

This is the true reason for growing my beard!

I had fun with this at work today. I like how it makes me look continually mad. I am actually smiling in this picture.
RELEVANT Gentleman's Society


Bonus video of Jacob on his bike!

Bonus video of Ethan on his trike.

Avast ye mateys! Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Arghhh, it's Talk Like a Pirate Day - Telegraph

Hit the rum, shout "shiver me timbers" or "avast, ya scurvy varmints" and integrate the following words into your lexicon: Matey, booty, Arghhh, buried treasure, plank, scoundrel, plunder etc.

If ye be havin' trouble this may be o' help: http://www.syddware.com/cgi-bin/pirate.pl

Stan Revealed

By the way here is a picture of Stan for those of you who were wondering.

The Ascent of Stan

Real Life or Scooby Doo?

I did very poorly on this test.

Scooby Doo: Ripped from the Headlines?



Score: 50% (5 out of 10)

Blubber Bots

Blubber Bots

"Blubber Bots are DIY robotic species that navigate autonomously and intelligently. Blubber Bots float, dance, seek and sing. They are light-seeking helium-filled balloons that graze the landscape in search of light and cell-phone signals. If you make a call and wave your phone near a Blubber Bot, it will go into a flocking dance or sing you a special tune. They bellow sounds similar to a whale’s song and serenade you with melodies. When not being played with, they rest for awhile, awakening periodically and seeking attention...



...They propel themselves using helium buoyancy and two directional motors...."

-Geekdad Wired Blogs

Originally they used hydrogen for buoyancy, but as you can imagine, that did not end well.

Super Parents?

Jacob has now made several references to how Jenny and I can see through things. I asked him why he thought that and he told me a story about how he was doing something he shouldn't behind a wall or something and we new what he was doing. That is on top of the fact that we have told him things like how we can always tell if he is not telling the truth and how we always know when he is doing something wrong. Yesterday he wanted me to help him come find a moth in the basement because I can see through things. I haven't had the heart to tell him that I can't. The sad thing is that in reality he can probably see better than I can.

My Nerd Score

Thats about what I expected.

Today at lunch Jacob and I were telling Jenny about a Super Massive Blackhole show we watched on the Science channel. When we were finished Jenny just looked at me and said, "You realize after saying all of that your Nerd Score just went up a few points."

China and India in ‘race to the moon’

China and India in ‘race to the moon’

Several thoughts on this...

1. Should anyone tell them that we have already been to the moon and we won the race.

2. Should we also tell them that after going there a few times we realized there isn't anything there and we haven't been back since.

3. Don't they have to get permission to land on OUR moon. I mean, that is our flag planted there. Possibly we could reach an agreement on selling them some time share options in some of the less desirable parts, but certainly no beach front property.

4. I don't think, were I an astronaut, that I would trust a space shuttle built by a country that still has the plague... I mean, The Plague!

My love-hate relationship with Subway

Subway is always a great fast food alternative.  It is fresh and healthy and in general makes me feel good after eating it rather than the sloppy (but amazing) beef brisket sandwich at Hog Wild, Mmmmm...

However Subway has one fatal flaw!  They can't seem to get a handle on the amount of sauce to put on their sandwiches.  Usually I get the chicken teriyaki sandwich on either the honey oat bread or the parmesan bread with provolone cheese, toasted, with cucumbers, green peppers, lettuce, banana peppers, salt & pepper and of course the teriyaki sauce.  But they always drench the sandwich in the sauce and it doesn't matter which Subway I go to (there are now 3 very close to my house) or who makes it, they ALL do it.  It must be a mandate handed down from the big guys at corporate to program the saucy bath into their brains as part of their training or something.  I pretty much always go through the drive through so by the time I get home to eat the bread is soggy.  I hate soggy bread!  Not to mention all you can taste then is the sauce.  Why bother with the rest of the food if you a aren't going to be able to taste it?

So, I always ask them to go easy on the sauce.  They still seem to go wild with it and drench my sandwich.  So then I started really emphasizing that I barely wanted any sauce on it.  Still they usually put way too much.  I was left thinking "if this is 'easy on the sauce' what do they normally do, dunk the sandwich in a tub of it?"

Finally I figured out the perfect solution.  I decided to ask for the sauce on the side.  That way I could put on the exact amount that I wanted and it wouldn't be soaking into the bread on the way home.  Brilliant!

Now Monday I came home from work and Jenny was exhausted, apparently growing a baby wares you out, and the kids and I are starving.  So I throw the kids in the car and run by McD's for them and go across the street to the brand new Subway, with my scheme in mind that will fix all of my problems.

First I had to wait a few minutes before they would even take my order.  Obviously this guy was new because he kept telling me "one moment" as I ordered so I would pause for him to catch up.  I asked for the sauce on the side and he said "No problem".  Then I pulled up and waited, paid, waited more.  The manager came to the window and said it would probably be about four minutes and asked if I would like a cookie while I wait.  No problem I would love a chocolate chip cookie to share with the boys.  Then Jacob told me that Ethan was a asleep.  This is an inconvenience because it is too close to bed time and now he will have trouble falling asleep after he eats.  That's not good. 

After waiting about four minutes like she said, the new kid brought me out my sandwich in a bag, but there was no side of teriyaki sauce.  I pointed that out to him and he hesitated for a second and said "oh right... ummm yeah let me get that."  That's not good.  While he got the sauce I opened my sandwich and sure enough... it had been baptized!  He brought me the sauce and I said, very nice but firm "you already put the sauce on the sandwich didn't you?"  He looked at me sheepishly, "yeah".  I handed back the sandwich to him and told him that I was going to need a new sandwich, again very nicely.  (I don't usually do that sort of thing but as you have read above this has been an ongoing battle with them for months and I am determined to break them of this over-saucing habit.)

At this time there is a girl in a car behind me who has started honking her horn in order to get someone to take her order because she has been waiting so long.  They aren't short handed, I could see at least 3 employees and the manager through the window and there didn't appear to be any customers inside either.  After waiting another 5 minutes I am began to wonder what was going on so I peeked through the window.  It looked like the manager was making my sandwich I could see her putting on the veggies, then she reached for the teriyaki sauce... NO... WAIT... STOP!!!  

A different girl brought me the sandwich and the manager was standing behind her.  She handed the bag to me and I said "You put the sauce on the sandwich didn't you?"  Her eyes got wide and her mouth opened but with nothing to say.  The manager behind her heard what I said and she closed her eyes and hung her shoulders in disbelief of her own carelessness.

"Would you like any chips or cookies?", she asked as I put the car into drive.  "No I don't want to wait any longer, that's fine" I said in frustration as I pulled away.

How was the sandwich?  Really not that bad.  Will I go back?  Yes, and someday Subway I will break you of this terrible sandwich drenching habit of yours!  Every sandwich should have the right to live free from the threat of being soaked and hopefully someday soon no bread will have to go soggy again.  You may have won this battle... but I will win this war!!

Help needed!

Malaysian monks face ant dilemma

A group of Buddhist monks in Malaysia is appealing for help to solve a problem with ants. Buddhism forbids devotees from harming any living creature. So the monks are looking for a creative and non-violent solution to deal with the insects, which are biting worshippers.

Buddhism forbids devotees from harming any living creature.

So the monks are looking for a creative and non-violent solution to deal with the insects, which are biting worshippers. more

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I think there are some smart and creative people that read this blog so I thought maybe we could all put our heads together to come up with a good way to help these monks take care of their ant problem without harming the ants. If you read the whole article it says that they already tried to vacuum them up and it didn't work, but surely there is another way. Please help!

Hollywood Physics

9 Laws of Physics That Don’t Apply in Hollywood



I must confess that all of these issues have bothered me at one time or another in movies except maybe the sound that travels at the speed of light. I can't think of a time that that particular physics violation has crossed my mind with movies. Now I am sure that one will annoy me all the time too.