Dr. Chuck Norris

So I went to my new optometrist the other day.  I was very surprised to find that the Dr. was actually Chuck Norris working under an alias (I won't use his name here to protect Chucks new secret identity).

It was a most unpleasant experience.  Especially for an eye appointment.  Usually they are pretty cut and dry, in and out and here is your new contact prescription, right?  Wrong, not this time.

Now I have to give him a break, that is quite a change to go from a Texas Ranger to an eye doctor, but surely he did some training for it, I don't know.  First he tried to tell me that my eyes weren't lining up exactly but my brain was compensating for it so I didn't have double vision.  But his equipment kept drifting while he was doing that test were you have to tell him when the 2 things line up.  Not to mention that he did it really fast.

So I already do not have very much faith in Dr. Chuck, but then he tries to tell me that my right eye has improved 3 clicks to a -2, but my contact was only a -2.25 to begin with, so I am pretty sure that when they measured my glasses to determine my prior prescription they measured it wrong.  When I told him that my right eye was only a -2.25 to begin with, then he said "Oh, well that is only one a '1 click' improvement, but you should get yourself checked out for diabetes, just in case."

Then a lady takes me into another room and says that she is going to put some "eye numbing drops" in my eyes and it will make them fill "puffy", whatever the heck that means.  If they were honest they would just say "Ok, I am going to put these eye drops in your eyes that are going to burn really bad and then make your eyes feel really freaky for about 30 minutes", freaky makes sense, "puffy" isn't a feeling.

But I accomplished my goal and I am wearing a new pair of contacts now that seem to be much more comfortable then the last brand that I had.  The last brand that I had made me want to rip my eyeballs out of their socket for relief after about 4 hours.

Unfortunately Dr, Norris is the only optometrist on my health insurance plan, so I will go back to him.  I am trying to work up the nerve to ask if he is still bringing criminal scum to justice down in Texas and if so how does he find the time to both fight crime and "practice" Optometry.  That is one heck of a commute.  Don't worry Dr. Norris, your secret is safe with me.